Mike. 2010.You think you've changed substantially because it's been years?I'm too stuck on the memory of your transgressions?Maybe you've heard of PTSD.I had never been emotionally, mentally, and physically abusedso consistently and ruthlessly.I agree people can fundamentally change, but honestly?The torment you inflicted is irrevocable.You see nothing wrong with what you didand even forgot what went down.Being capable of what you did.... I don't know if making some changesin your life can change the way you were raisedand what you morphed into.It's been about three years and time barely dulledwhatever you call what you did.I attempt convincing myself you're worth pitying in lieu of anger....but I'm not so sure you don't know beneath the facade,all the effects of all the infractions you committed.You've now got so much to offer someone,that you won't put up with lying and deceit?Karma registered your manipulation and crueltyat last but you're still too blind and dumb to see.I
Dark Night [Karmic Vice Grip]Too many dark spills,regardless of my karma.Trying desperately to reboot,I stumble into another.Wondering if life is a big quick sand pit.Baring me to defy nature and not be absorbed by it.Did I create my own drowning pool vortex?When do I revel in my reward,for hammering a dent into my karmic debt?When do I receive my reprieve?If all I do is chip away at past life infractions,will I ever enjoy this life I was thrust into?I want to enjoy life and positively perceive it.Still in my "dark night".Am I meant to warrior through,or is it up to me to decide when it has served its purpose?
Tarantula's Lair.Come find me.Try to fight me.You've already ignited me.Come see me.Come feel me.This opportunity is increasingly rare,so make haste before it is behind thee.So what if you succeed in locating?The barriers will defy thee.You may get inside my mind,but who's to say you have ready access toanything revealing,Anything I'm ruminating over and/or feeling?Splendid, you've mildly succeeded.Don't become too confident.You've not made a dent.Overstaying your welcome surely closes down the fortress.Regardless of my two cents,you know not which pill to down,whether you already took it,or if you would have ended up here anyhow.Humor me, why don't you?Descend into the rabbit's den.Only will you find an inquisitive, bemused tarantula upon its lair.However benign you might find her,you had best believe,as from the beginning,nothing will *ever* be what you perceived it to be.